like-fedex:

vadianna:

kdazrael:

kylostahp:

Look I’m just imagining teenage!Hux poring over the illustrations in old Imperial xenoanatomy texts with wide eyes, like what even is that thing and how could that possibly fit anywhere and obsessing over those thoughts until they finally circle properly around to …would it feel good and he has the most inappropriate sexual awakening ever for a proper son of the Empire.

(This is a lie: hundreds of thousands of proper sons of the Empire have had exactly the same experience. They were also properly filled with Imperial institutional xenophobic shame. Hux, meanwhile, just gets fucked by a Togruta on his first unsupervised shore leave.)

Also, please imagine that ex-imp/FO at some point get a reputation for this and it becomes the bedrock of galactic humour, the same way people like to make off-colour jokes about Welsh people being sheep-shaggers, or everyone in the rural american south marrying their cousin.

So like, every time FO officers are trying to raid a cantina they get a bunch of yinchorri cackling and saying OOH BACKS AGAINST THE WALL, LADS, IT’S THE FIRST ORDER and OOH STRIP SEARCH ME OFFICER I’M PACKING A FEARSME WEAPON. And the officers are all ‘No, stop this at once. This is important military matter!’

I can also imagine a kind of First Order Officer kink exists among certain nonhuman subcultures.  Custom uniforms are a huge black market, one that the First Order tries to crack down on and can’t.  There are Cantinas, if you Know Where to Look.  First Order Officers hate raiding these.  Hux makes up missions to bust them, periodically, when he’s collected enough people he needs to take petty revenge on.  He says the clubs need to be eradicated, that they stain the reputation of the First Order, but the Officers know he’s full of shit.  Hux funds the seedier ones himself.  He’s not only the president but also a member.

Motherfuck how does this just keep getting better :DDDDD