Me: Time to write straight-up porn with zero plot
Brain: How about a 5-page introduction
Me: What no that isn’t what I —
Brain: Or metaphors about space
Brain: Or memories about family inside jokes for backstory purposes
Brain: Or exposition about where and when this is happening
Brain: Or detailed descriptions of the bathroom
Brain: Or insightful–
Me: Oh my god no why are you like this
Brain:
Brain: May I offer you this unnecessary side story about the character’s dead grandmother in this trying time
Me: I just wanted to write spitroasting