So while Hux is listening to an utterly rambling, banal story about Ben’s family—whom he discusses so often that Hux knows everyone by name, like characters in a never-ending, fucked up sitcom—he averts his attention from Ben’s gaping, food-filled maw.
He tunes back in when he hears Ben say, “So now it’s a destination wedding. They’re flying us all to Hawaii.”
“They’re what now?” Hux asks, hand frozen where it had been gently shaking parmesan onto his giant slice of pizza.
“They’re making me take a week out of my busy schedule—”
“You literally do nothing but work and play Minecraft.”
“—busy schedule,” Ben emphasizes, “to fly to Hawaii. Do you know how long that flight is? Ten hours. Ten fucking hours. What am I gonna do?”
“Most children bring a coloring book on flights.”
“Go suck a bag of dicks.” [on ao3]
now complete
dispatches from the dumpster 