Hux looked up as Mitaka approached his desk cautiously. “Lieutenant?” “Um, General, I… I think I found something that belongs to Millicent in my washing.” “Oh, I don’t think that would be likely, but… What is that?” “I think it’s a stocking for a cat, Sir. I can’t think it would fit anyone on the ship at least.” Hux took the silky scrap in his hand, rubbing the lace edge between his fingertips. “This is far too big to fit Millicent!”

“Here,” Hux said, dangling the – whatever it was – from his outstretched hand. “Dispose of it. Quickly.”

Mitaka gave the General a crisp salute and turned in place. Thanisson peered around a holoscreen, a map of the nearest star system shading his skin. 

“Did it work?” he asked, his face alight with mischief. 

“I don’t think so,” Mitaka answered, his confusion evident. “Why did you ask me to do that? What is this thing, anyway?”

Thanisson’s expression turned smug. “You should probably follow the General’s advice,” he said.

Mitaka tilted his head, regarding the strip of red mesh. A detachable sleeve? A rat-warmer? Wait, were there rats on the Finalizer? And if so, who was dressing them up? 

The questions only multiplied until his brain felt close to a short. He hastily left the bridge and headed for the nearest trash chute, stopping at the sound of familiar voices echoing down the corridor. 

“Told you … laundry … never listen!” Mitaka was 98% certain the voice belonged to the General. He crept down the hallway, hoping for a better vantage point. Mitaka chastised himself for the breach of conduct even as his steps carried him closer to the conversation. He had definitely been spending too much time around Thanisson.

“…not my fault your droid is overzealous.” That sounded like – oh shit, Mitaka thought. He knew exactly what that was. Well, he amended silently. Who. 

“It’s programmed that way, you absolute ass!” The General sounded furious. What had Lord Ren been doing with Hux’s laundry? Was Ren keeping rats? Had the General programmed his housekeeping droid to exterminate them? There were much more efficient ways of –

“The next time I walk in on your  – cogitation, I’ll be sure to remind you to clean up after yourself.” Mitaka blinked. Had he really just heard what he thought he heard? Impossible, he decided. Such indecorous behavior would never be tolerated on this ship, much less by the General himself.

“That’s a shame,” Hux mused, his tone having made a sudden about-face. “You seemed to enjoy doing that for me.” A growl filled the corridor, and Mitaka cringed against the wall. He could almost hear the whirl of Lord Ren’s cloak before loud steps resounded in the distance. 

The General began to laugh, and Mitaka realized he was still holding the – oh god. Oh no. This was terrible. Holding it out between his index finger and thumb, Mitaka opened the trash chute with his other hand and dropped it inside. The intake panel slammed shut with a hideous clang and he raced for the bridge before the General could discover his presence.

He would never be able to look General Hux in the eyes again. Thanisson owed him his dessert portions for the next year. That is, if Mitaka ever felt like eating his rations again.