kylostahp:

kdazrael:

kylostahp:

@kdazrael shhhhhh I want to continue this but long tumblr threads are gross

Ok, ok, this thread is getting ridiculously long but I still have a millionty-one things to ponder. I do think a lot about what it was like to grow up in the unknown regions, probably in some kind of hollow shell of post-Imperial culture (like, there are still military academies, but no-one is really sure what they’re training these kids for anymore except to reflect some past glory). And all the planets are shitty and only barely livable for humans (my headcanon is that Hux hates being on a planet because 1) stuck in an orbit and can blow up; 2) full of sand and shitty fauna, not sleek and hermetically sealed like his lovely destroyer; 3) gingers and sunlight are not friends).

Other main ponderable: who funds the First Order? I think it’s a combination of revenue streams: 1) stuff they mine/steal from vulnerable planets in the outer rim/unknown regions; 2) dodgy deals with smugglers and other galactic scumbags (protection rackets maybe? Brendol is especially disappointed about this) 3) support from wealthy crypto-Empire families in the Core.  

So I’m just gonna screech incoherently and roll around for a while okay because I HAVE SO MANY FIRST ORDER FEELINGS HELP

Keep reading

*continues to run around in an
excited tizzy, bouncing off walls*

“the fuck-offers are like 90% of
the military, plus anyone who might have a few little things that could be
considered war crimes and/or genocide in their background.”

YES. IIRC, the First Order were sort of
extrapolated out of a ‘what if the Nazis had really set up shop in Latin
America post-WWII?’ scenario, so this rings
very true. I’m really fascinated by what happens to ‘culture’ when all that’s
left of your top tiers of society is the military dudes (and none of the
politicians, lawyers, academics etc). A really fucked up world view, that’s
what.

Now look here – why did you give me all these feels? I don’t
know what to do with them! Oh God, there are like a whole bunch of stories I
feel suddenly compelled to write, including but not limited to:

–         
Hux’s weird eating habits that he is super
self-conscious about.

–         
Hux giving a speech about how much he hates
sand, and Ren being like ‘OMG, just like my grandpa!’ ❤

–         
Fucking boarding school in the Unknown Regions
that is St Trinians but worse.

–         
Hux and Ren go glad-handing in the Core Worlds.
Ren has to wear an outfit he objects to and have his hair tamed in some
humiliating way. He cottons on to the fact that Hux is ‘not quite the thing,
old boy’ in the eyes of Core-dwellers (his accent is not quite right. He doesn’t
know that [insert dish name] is meant to be served cold). Ren wants to destroy
all these rich fuck-bags with extreme prejudice.

–         
The great Outer Rimian novel, encompassing
themes of class struggle and colonial exploitation; the erasure of resources
and identities. I’m calling it The Grapes of Hoth.

If I’m honest, I probably won’t get round to that last one.

One last headcanon before I disappear off into the night,
cackling maniacally: Hux is not a good conversationalist. He is very good at
speeches (even extemporised ones), is very persuasive when he wants to bring
someone around to his plan, and can communicate clearly in a professional
setting. However, he is painfully conscious of the fact that he is not good at no-stakes
shooting the shit. Brendol was a true extrovert and charmer who was never
really ‘off’. Hux Jr. is a grumpy introvert and sees casual conversation as a
waste of his time and mental energy.

marry me pls

and now I have a serious problem and it’s “Ren objecting to the way ex-Imperials in the Core treat Hux” sfkljsfdljksfdklj he corners Hux one evening like “do you know what they’re saying about you????” and of course Hux does, or he can certainly guess because this is not exactly new for him, and Ren is just infuriated that not only is this happening but Hux allows it to happen

(he has strong feelings about this, inappropriately strong–there was once a boy named Ben who was the unfortunate result of a dalliance between a princess and a pirate, who gleaned that picture of himself from enough of the politicians he met that his mother eventually gave up on introducing him altogether because of his surliness)

… and then Hux takes over the galaxy and has them all executed, Vanellope von Schweetz-style I MEAN UH